No, I don't mind being your private secretary

Every pharmacist who's been around awhile has heard "my doctor won't call you, he says he's too busy, you should call him" followed by calling and being put on hold for ten minutes. It's happen so many times it's hard to get the energy to even get appropriately annoyed anymore. But what's worse is the patient who says "I'm think I'm getting sick, can you call my doctor and tell him to prescribe me something?" No problem, I'm sure your doctor is going to say "Mr. Fleeber is sick? Give him an antibiotic right away!" If you want me to call for your dinner reservation, let me know that too.

We don't know, don't ask us

Things your pharmacist doesn't know:
What that thing on your arm is.
Why your doctor ordered that test.
Why your doctor gave you pills for cholesterol when your cholesterol is fine.
If you can eat before your test.
If you are still contagious (but I'm going to return to the back of the store now).
If the commercial is telling the truth.
Why drug companies charge so much (and no, they don't put gold in the pills, that's really funny, I've never heard that one before)
Which insurance company is the best.
Why your insurance coverage is canceled.

There's lots more we don't know too. I just don't know what those things are.

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WYPHY Blog Presents . . .

Great lines from pharmacy history

Customer - "CVS down the block has this for a dollar cheaper, but they don't have any in stock"
Owner - "No problem, when I don't have any in stock, I sell it for a dollar cheaper also"

CONGRATULATIONS!

Congratulations on living your whole life off the government/your parents/your spouse. However, those of us here do something called "work". This means occasionally we have to take a break from discussing with you the entire medical history of your friend's brother, or the wonderful medical show you saw on TV last night, and actually be productive. If you'd like, feel free to talk to the wall for as long as you'd like, it's just as interested as I am.

Deck of Cards

"I'm sorry Ma'am, this insurance card has been terminated by the insurance company . . . no, I'm sorry, this one doesn't work either . . . okay, yes, that card works"
What the F$%# do people keep their old, expired insurance cards for?

Quick One

Patient - "Why did you give me the generic on this?"
Pharmacist "That's what your doctor wrote on the prescription"
Patient "But why didn't you ask me? I don't want a generic"
Pharmacist "According to the state law, we have to give you what the doctor writes"
Patient (annoyed) "But that's not right, why don't you give me what I want?"
Pharmacist (also annoyed) "See right here on your prescription, it says 'must fill generically'. But I'll be glad to check with the doctor and get you what you want"
(time passes, as the insurance claim is reversed and rebilled, and the pills are replaced and recounted)
Clerk "Okay, here you are"
Patient "Why is this more money"
Clerk (to pharmacist) "She wants to know why this is more money"
Phm "Your insurance plan has a higher copay for brand names when generics are available"
Pt "No it doesn't! My plan covers everything"
Phm "I'm sorry, I don't make the price, I get it from your insurance copay online"
Pt "No, that's not true . . . (etc, this goes back and forth for a while, with the same thing being said over and over. Finally, the patient calls her insurance company on her cell phone, standing in front of the pharmacy counter, and speaks to them for fifteen minutes"
Pt (to pharmacist, angrily) Never mind, I'll just take the generic.